About Moi!

What could you possibly want to know about me? Well let's see. Basics…

Name: Yo Mama (no for real, I'm a mom, and therefore the butt of many jokes)

Married to: A mother fucker (for real, I'm a mom, and therefore the butt of many jokes)

Sex: The number 1 cause of pregnancy in the world

Address: The place where the banjos play

Zip Code: Your fly is down (that's the code I give to people that they need to zip)

Religion: No Affiliation

Spirituality: I believe in God and Jesus Christ; I believe in Love

Political Party: No Affiliation

Horoscope Sign: Libra, the best

Theme Song: MC Hammer's Can't Touch This

Number 1 Pick Up Line:  "I'll take a vodka."

Mafia Name: The Mother Spaghetti. My sauce puts Sophia's to shame. My fishes sleep with the fishes, and I orchestrate an annual houseplant massacre.

Past Lives: According to the psychic, I had a vineyard in Italy once. I was around for Jesus but wasn't cool enough to get into the Bible. Before that, I was a tiger guardian during Ancient Egypt. That was just earth. I was at some other planet a few times. I seem to hate earth. No offense to you people. I didn't know either. The psychic is the one who said that. Not me. Maybe I just didn't like earth before the invention of Air Conditioning.

Favorite Position: Walking the pussy up the wall. Don't knock it until you've tried it.

Do I spank? Frequently the husband. Sometimes the kids.

How do I get the husband to say yes? Jump on a trampoline, shirtless, when I ask a question.

Song I sing in the shower: Ain't nobody dope as me I'm just so fresh so clean…

Current favorite song: Icona Pop, I don't care, I love it… only because of the accent.

Current favorite movie: Brave was badass.

Favorite movie of all time: Hmm, tough call. Love the Expendables because it's the best of the 80's minus Dirty Harry all in one. But of all movies, the Die Hards.

Favorite Book: Umm, look to the right, you might want to scroll, do you see it yet? Amazon.com ad? Yeah, those are my favorite books. I may need to update it, but yeah.

Favorite Drinks: Diet Coke, Zombies, White Russians with heavy whipping cream (fuck milk), Coffee, vodka, rum…

Favorite Actor to fantasize humping: Sylvester Stallone and Katherine Heigl

Favorite Color: Light (all of them)

Do I believe in ghosts? Yes.


Blog Posts that might help:

http://www.dribblesngrits.com/2013/02/roundhouse-bitch.html

I do suffer from mom syndrome, defined in this post... http://www.dribblesngrits.com/2013/02/shrinkological-disorder-shenanigans.html

and

http://www.dribblesngrits.com/2013/02/blog-of-myself.html


Some videos that describe me to a T... Like Mrs. T, almost like Mr. T but his bawssss.....

of course, this is me whippin it real hard

and duh...