About Moi!


What could you possibly want to know about me? Well let's see. Basics…

Name: Yo Mama (no for real, I'm a mom, and therefore the butt of many jokes)

Married to: A mother fucker (for real, I'm a mom, and therefore the butt of many jokes)

Sex: The number 1 cause of pregnancy in the world (it's not whiskey like I originally thought)

Address: The place where the banjos play

Zip Code: Your fly is down (that's the code I give to people that they need to zip)

Religion: No Affiliation

Spirituality: I believe in God and Jesus Christ; I believe in Love

Political Party: No Affiliation

Horoscope Sign: Libra, the best

Theme Song: MC Hammer's Can't Touch This

Number 1 Pick Up Line:  "I'll take a vodka."

Mafia Name: The Mother Spaghetti. My sauce puts Sophia's to shame. My fishes sleep with the fishes, and I orchestrate an annual houseplant massacre.

Past Lives: According to the psychic, I had a vineyard in Italy once. I was around for Jesus but wasn't cool enough to get into the Bible. Before that, I was a tiger guardian during Ancient Egypt. That was just earth. I was at some other planet a few times. I seem to hate earth. No offense to you people. I didn't know either. The psychic is the one who said that. Not me. Maybe I just didn't like earth before the invention of Air Conditioning.

Favorite Position: Walking the pussy up the wall. Don't knock it until you've tried it.

Do I spank? Frequently the husband. Sometimes the kids.

How do I get the husband to say yes? Jump on a trampoline, shirtless, when I ask a question.

Song I sing in the shower: Ain't nobody dope as me I'm just so fresh so clean…

Current favorite song: Icona Pop, I don't care, I love it… only because of the accent.

Current favorite movie: Brave was badass. Django was off the hook. 

Favorite movie of all time: Hmm, tough call. Love the Expendables because it's the best of the 80's minus Dirty Harry all in one (I do love Dirty Harry movies, like Clint was all who was missing from the movie). While the Die Hards remind me of my father, my favorite movie has got to be The Sound of Music. 

Favorite Book: Umm, look to the right, you might want to scroll, do you see it yet? Amazon.com ad? Yeah, those are my favorite books. I may need to update it, but yeah.

Favorite Drinks: Diet Coke, Zombies, White Russians with heavy whipping cream (fuck milk), Coffee, vodka, rum…

Favorite Actor to fantasize humping: Sylvester Stallone and Katherine Heigl, 3 some. I'm not a lesbian, but Katherine might change that some day. 

Favorite Color: Light (all of them)

Do I believe in ghosts? Yes.


Blog Posts that might help:

http://www.dribblesngrits.com/2013/02/roundhouse-bitch.html

I do suffer from mom syndrome, defined in this post... http://www.dribblesngrits.com/2013/02/shrinkological-disorder-shenanigans.html

and

http://www.dribblesngrits.com/2013/02/blog-of-myself.html


Some videos that describe me to a T... Like Mrs. T, almost like Mr. T but his bawssss.....



of course, this is me whippin it real hard


and duh...